It was a grey wetly sheathed day last week when with a heavy mind and blood shot eyes she sat beside me at a computer that stared a ‘ press Ctrl+Alt+Del to continue’. Bad news was a banal topic now between us and so we just stared on at our blue screens willing each other not to talk. Placing a half-hearted hand on the mouse she began that routine check for news, bad and spam, on her multiple accounts. Satisfied that this will be another day of no news is better than bad news she opened a document titled ‘ Can’t think straight anymore’ and began to place those last changes of proofreading to her essay due that day. The stress builds as her brows knit together, her eyes gloss over slightly wet with worry or lack of blinks, lips disappear into her chewing teeth and finally a slight periodic shiver runs through her neck shoulders fingers. I want to reach out and tell her she’s intelligent and witty in her confidence and intelligent and witty in her worries because she is the same wonderful person no matter what the situation. Bad times and good times will come in equal doses and the most you can do is sit upright, clear your thoughts, prioritize, set a goal, achieve what you need not what you beat yourself up to, pass or fail and then another day will come with its innumerable challenges and when you repeat this process enough your passes will trump your fails- fight through for your own potential. There’s power and potential in you to see you through. There’s an opening that you will reach that will be clear, assuring, strong and you will know it is just for you.
Instead I continue to stare at my ‘Cant think straight anymore’.doc.